A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.  - Granville Hicks
A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled. - Sir Barnett Cocks
A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.
A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education. - George Bernard Shaw
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw
A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices. - William James
A hacker does for love what others would not do for money.  - Laura Creighton
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
A man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought. There is a visible labor and there is an invisible labor.  - Victor Hugo
A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes. - James Feibleman
A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.  - Edmond de Goncourt
A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance.  - Anatole France
A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people. - Peter McArthur
A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her. -David Brinkley
A warmhearted youth becomes strongly attached to a girl: he spends every hour of the day in her company, lavishes all his energies and his fortune to prove that he is wholly devoted to her. Along comes some Philistine, a man of position and respectability, and says to him: 'My good young friend, I shall give you an analogy, to love is human but you must love within human bounds. Divide your time: devote a portion to your business and give the hours of recreation to your sweetheart'...If he was to follow this advice, he might become a useful member of society...but it is all over with his love, and, if he be an artist, with his art." - The Sorrows of Young Werther by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. - Carl Sagan
Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better.  - George Santayana
After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done.  - Unknown
Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself; he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse.  - Benjamin Franklin
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.  - H. L. Mencken
All the simple programs have been written, and all the good names taken.
All truly wise thoughts have been thoughts already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. - Arthur Schopenhauer
All your base are belong to us.
An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations.  - Charles de Montesquieu
An event has happened, upon which it is difficult to speak, and impossible to be silent. - Edmund Burke
An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field. - Niels Bohr
An expert is a person who avoids small error as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy. - Benjamin Stolberg
An invincible determination can accomplish almost anything and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men. - Thomas Fuller
An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.  - Jef Mallett
Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.  - Kurt Vonnegut
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. - Arthur C. Clark
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.  - Samuel Goldwyn
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are in; the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon. - Dalai Lama
Artificial Intelligence:  Making computers behave like they do in the movies.
As a former Marine, take it from me. Don't join the military, unless you want to risk getting your balls blown off to secure other people's economic or political interests.
As soon as we put something into words, we devalue it in a strange way. We think we have plunged into the depths of abyss, and when we return to the surface the drop of water on our pale fingertips no longer resembles the sea from which it comes. We delude ourselves that we have discovered a wonderful treasure trove, and when we return to the light of day we find that we have brought back only false stones and shards of glass; and yet the treasure goes on glimmering in the dark, unaltered. - Maeterlinck
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.   - Christopher Hampton
At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid.  - Friedrich Nietzsche
Be not a slave of words. - Thomas Carlyle
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss
Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so. - Chesterfield
Believe it or not, but in the real world, those who can do, do. Those who can't do, share with others who can't do.
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.  - Henry David Thoreau
But none of these young men had much hope of really advancing in his profession, or any earnest desire to do so; and over many of them the green mold of the perfunctory was already perceptibly spreading.
Choose two: Good, Fast, Cheap.
Civilization is the process of reducing the infinite to the finite.  - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.  - Peter Ustinov
Comparing to another activity is useful if it helps you formulate questions, it's dangerous when you use it to justify answers. - Martin Fowler
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.   - E. W. Dijkstra
Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind. - Donald Knuth
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.  - Andy Rooney
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth. - Lillian Hellman
Discussion in class, which means letting twenty young blockheads and two cocky neurotics discuss something that neither their teacher nor they know. -Vladimir Nabokov
Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric. - Bertrand Russell
Do not feel envious of the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise, for only a fool will think that it is happiness. - Bertrand Russell
Do you really own a idea? like you own a land? and property?
Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
Don't be afraid to tell people to fuck off when need be. It is an important skill to acquire. As they say, speak your piece, even if your voice shakes.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. - Mark Twain
Don't pick on the weak. It's immoral. Don't antagonize the strong without cause, it's stupid.
Don't take proffered advice without a critical analysis. 90% of all advice is intended to benefit the proponent, not the recipient. Actually, the number is probably closer to 97%, but I don't want to come off as cynical.
Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats. - Howard Aiken
Don't worry about what anybody else is going to do. The best way to predict the future is to invent it. - Alan Kay
Dream as if you'll live forever, Live a life as if you'll die today. - James Dean
Eccentricity is not, as dull people would have us believe, a form of madness. It is often a kind of innocent pride, and the man of genius and the aristocrat are frequently regarded as eccentrics because genius and aristocrat are entirely unafraid of and uninfluenced by the opinions and vagaries of the crowd.  - Edith Sitwell
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.  - Will Durant
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter.  - William Ralph Inge
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac? - George Carlin
Ever since I could remember, I'd wished I'd been lucky enough to be alive at a great time--when something big was going on, like a crucifixion. And suddenly I realized I was. -Ben Shahn
Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it. - George Orwell
Every person takes the limits of their own field of vision for the limits of the world. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Everyone is entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the privilege.
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.  - Leo Tolstoy
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. - Albert Einstein
Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent that in passive agreement, for, if you value intelligence as you should, the former implies a deeper agreement than the latter. - Bertrand Russell
Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.  - Katherine Whitehor
For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them.
Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education. - Chuck Palahniuk
God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project.   - Anonymous
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change; the courage to change the things i can; and the wisdom to know the difference. - Serenity Prayer
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.  - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement. - Fred Brooks, Jr.
Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.
Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don't know which half. - John Wanamaker
Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.   - Robertson Davies
Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.  - Aldous Huxley
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Have no respect for the authority of others, for there are always contrary authorities to be found. - Bertrand Russell
Have you ever observed that we pay much more attention to a wise passage when it is quoted than when we read it in the original author? - Philip G. Hamerton
He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.  - Douglas Adams
He knows all about art, but he doesn't know what he likes. - James Thurber
He was a genius - that is to say, a man who does superlatively and without obvious effort something that most people cannot do by the uttermost exertion of their abilities.  - Robertson Davies
He who laughs last, always thinks the slowest.
Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.  - Peter Ustinov
History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.  - T. S. Eliot
I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. - Margaret Thatcher
I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.  - John Cage
I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. - Francois Voltaire
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.  - Bill Cosby
I don't like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions. - George Carlin
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. - Ashleigh Brilliant
I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time.  - Orson Welles
I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Lemme see, uhh.... Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, 'The O.C.', the U.N., recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host! Everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everything everything--eve--everything that exists -- past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions. - from the scrubs
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.  - George Carlin
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.  - Emo Phillips
I will give you the same advice I gave my children: Never take advice from anybody.
I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.  - Terry Pratchett
Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.  - David T. Wolf
If a church is set on a fire, should you call 911 or pray for a rain?
If a man gives up his ability to dream at the knell of society, he gives up on the chance that his dreams might someday come true.
If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. - Bertrand Russell
If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.
If it aint broke, don't fix it!
If life is not fair, then get on the better side.
If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. - Edith Wharton
If something has a direct benefit to an individual or a class of people, and a theoretical, abstract, or amorphous benefit to everybody else, realize that the proponent's intentions are to benefit the former, not the latter, no matter what bullshit they try to feed you.
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. - Abraham Maslow
If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.  - Bill Vaughan
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
If you look at the source code of extremely talented programmers, there's beauty in it. There's a lot of attention to compression, using the underlying programming language in a way that's easy to penetrate. Yes, writing code and writing poetry are similar.
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you. - Don Marquis
If you read this, you are lucky.
If you sleep less than you need, you'll be tired. If you sleep more than you need, you'll be depressed. It's crucial to sleep not a minute more or less than necessary.
If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.
If you're not scared or angry at the thought of a human brain being controlled remotely, then it could be this prototype of mine is finally starting to work.  - John Alejandro King
Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein
In a sense, knowedge shrinks as wisdom grows; for details are swallowed up in principle. the details of knowledge which are important will be picked up ad hoc in each avocation of life but the habit of the active utilisation of well-understood principles is the final possession of wisdom. - Whitehead
In a time of deceit telling, the truth is a revolutionary act. -George Orwell
In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
In great affairs men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small things they show themselves as they are.   - Nicholas Chamfort
In journalism, there has always been a tension between getting it first and getting it right.   - Ellen Goodman
In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are. They are, in very important respects, what they seem to be. - Hubert H. Humphrey
Increasingly, people seem to misinterpret complexity as sophistication, which is baffling  the incomprehensible should cause suspicion rather than admiration. Possibly this trend results from a mistaken belief that using a somewhat mysterious device confers an aura of power on the user.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. - Friedrich Nietzsche
Instead of fearing the fear, can't you just accept the fear. you are going to die, and that is the end. no this and no buts.
Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them. - Dame Rose Macaulay
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish. - Aeschylus
It is better to solve the right problem the wrong way than to solve the wrong problem the right way. - Richard Hamming
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.  - George Bernard Shaw
It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his job depends on not understanding it.  - Upton Sinclair
It is hard, I submit, to loathe bloodshed, including war, more than I do, but it is still harder to exceed my loathing of the very nature of totalitarian states in which massacre is only an administrative detail. -Vladimir Nabokov
It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have gone wrong.  - G. K. Chesterton
It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of art. - Oscar Wilde
It is only in the realm of pure science that truth is an absolute criterion. When we deal with applied science, with technology - we deal with people. When we deal with people, consideration other than truth enter the question.  - from Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
It is wrong, then, to chide the novel for being fascinated by mysterious conincidences, but it is right to chide man for being blind to such coincidences in his daily life. For he thereby deprives his life of a dimension of beauty.  - from The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
It takes too much energy to be against something unless it's really important.  - Madeleine L'Engle
It will produce forgetfulness in the souls of those who have learned it, through lack of practice at using their memory, as through reliance on writing they are reminded from outside by alien marks, not from inside, themselves by themselves: you have discovered an elixir not of memory but of reminding. To your students you give the appearance of wisdom, not the reality of it; having heard much, in the absence of teaching, they will appear to know much when for the most part they know nothing, and they will be difficult to get along with, because they have acquired the appearance of wisdom instead of wisdom itself.- On damaging effects of a new technology: Writing, by Plato
It's a lot like nature. You only have as many animals as the ecosystem can support and you only have as many friends as you can tolerate the bitching of.  - Randy K. Milholland
It's better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. - Abraham Lincoln
It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem.  - Malcolm Forbes
Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive. - GK Chesterton
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. - Mark Twain
Know that few people have your best interests at heart. Your mother does. Your father probably does (if he stuck around). Your siblings are on your side. Everybody else worries about themselves.
Know the rules so you can break them properly.
Lack of money is the root of all evil. - George Bernard Shaw
Learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed. - David Foster Wallace
Let the machine do the dirty work. - Brian W. Kernighan, P. J. Plauger, The Elements of Programming Style
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. - George Bernard Shaw
Lies are like children: they're hard work, but it's worth it because the future depends on them.   - Pam Davis
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.  - Paul Gauguin
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim - Bertrand Russell
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
Love consists in overestimating the difference between one woman and another - George Bernard Shaw
Lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the frictions of social contacts. - Clare Booth Luce
Make it right before you make it faster.
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones.   - Bertrand Russell
Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is not quite clear to him.  - Paul Eldridge
Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another.   - Anatole France
Managing programmers is like herding cats.
Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. - George Bernard Shaw
Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction. - Ashleigh Brilliant
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight. - Bill Gates
Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Meets quality standards:  Compiles without errors.
Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education.  - Bertrand Russell
Men are not against you; they are merely for themselves. - Gene Fowler
Men are not open to truth or reason. They cannot be reached by a rational argument. The mind is powerless against them. Yet we have to deal with them. If we want to accomplisth anything, we have to deceive them into letting us accomplish it. Or force them. They understand nothing else. - from Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.  - Robert Frost
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.  - Oscar Wilde
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. - George Carlin
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. - Bertrand Russell
Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves. - Alan Kay
Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good.  - Thomas Sowell
My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared - P. J. Plauger
My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.   - Albert Einstein
Never confuse movement with action.  - Ernest Hemingway
Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. - Elbert Hubbard
Never hold in a fart, because then the fart goes into your brain, and thats where all the shitty ideas come from.
Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.  - Isaac Asimov
Never put off till run-time what you can do at compile-time.  - D. Gries
Never trust a program unless you have the source.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
No program done by a hacker will work unless he is on the system.
No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.
None are so busy as the fool and knave.  - John Dryden
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it. - Ellen Goodman
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.  - Brendan Gill
Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine. -Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944)
Nothing is certain except death and taxes. - Ben Franklin
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. - Bertrand Russell
Once a new technology starts rolling, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road.
Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
Once is an event; twice is a coincidence; three times is a pattern - Jerry Weinberg
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. - A. A. Milne
One of the indictments of civilizations is that happiness and intelligence are so rarely found in the same person.  - William Feather
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.   - Rita Mae Brown
One person's error is another person's data.
One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards. - Oscar Wilde
One thing I don't like about religion is that the message is "hang on", not "make the world better".
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and i am not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.  - Laurence J. Peter
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man. - Bertrand Russell
Our programs never have bugs, they just develop random features
PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals.
Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice. - George Jackson
Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.  - Bertrand Russell
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it. - George Bernard Shaw
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them. - George Bernard Shaw
People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.  - Soren Kierkegaard
Perl is the crystal meth of programming: it's so incredibly useful when you need to do a large amount of work in a small amount of time that you tend to overlook the fact that it's basically precipitating the implosion of your vital organs. - Dan Martinez
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev
Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.   - Ambrose Bierce
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
Profits are the lifeblood of enterprise. Don't let anyone tell you different.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something. - Robert Heinlein
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J. Peter
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored. - Evelyn Waugh
Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.
Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity. - Christopher Morley
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money - George Carlin
Religion is a belief for a better life, but end up as a doctrine.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Remember, 97% of all advice is worthless. Take what you can use, and trash the rest.
Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.  - Eric Hoffer
Satisfaction Guaranteed: We'll send you another copy if it fails.
Science may set limits to knowledge, but should not set limits to imagination. - Bertrand Russell
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.  - Oscar Wilde
Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.  - William Feather
Silence is the virtue of fools.   - Sir Francis Bacon
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. - Leonardo da Vinci
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers. - Daniel J. Boorstin
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams.
Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer. - George Carlin
Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable.  - Trey Parker and Matt Stone
Sometimes, things are better left unclarfied.
Spend some time alone every day.
State-of-the-art: What we could do with enough money.
State-of-the-practice: What we can do with the money you have.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
Supercomputer:  Turns CPU-bound problem into I/O-bound problem.  - Ken Batcher
Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
Technical skill is mastery of complexity while creativity is mastery of simplicity. - E. C. Zeeman
Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand. - Putt's Law
Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative. - Kurt Vonnegut
The ancient covenant is in pieces: Man knows at last that he is alone in the universe's unfeeling immensity, out of which he emerged only by chance. - Jacques Monod
The artist doesn't have time to listen to the critics. The ones who want to be writers read the reviews, the ones who want to write don't have the time to read reviews.  - William Faulkner
The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever. - Anatole France
The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand. - Frank Herbert
The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.  - Samuel Butler
The best packed information most resembles random noise.
The choices you make within the boundaries that are given to you makes who you are.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the strictly limited size of his own skull; therefore he approaches the programming task in full humility, and among other things he avoids clever tricks like the plague.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The facts, although interesting, are usually irrelevant.
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. - Robert R. Coveyou
The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy - I mean that if you are happy you will be good.  - Bertrand Russell
The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. - Ronald Reagan
The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.  - Bertrand Russell
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.  - Walter Bagehot
The height of cleverness is to be able to conceal it.  - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
The important thing is not to stop questioning.  - Albert Einstein
The important thing to remember while killing a monster is not becoming one in the process. - Nietsche
The less confident you are, the more serious you have to act. - Tara Ploughman
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen
The main dangers in this life are the people who want to change everything - or nothing. - Nancy Astor
The meaning of things lie not in things themselves, but in our attitude to them. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums.  - G. K. Chesterton
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. - Albert Einstein
The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution. - Hannah Arendt
The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way.  - Bertrand Russell
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.  - H. L. Mencken
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. - Edmund Burke
The only thing that lasts longer than a friend's love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better.   - Randy K. Milholland
The open secrets of good design practice include the importance of knowing what to keep whole, what to combine, what to separate, and what to throw away. - Kevlin Henny
The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action. - Frank Herbert
The philosophy behind much advertising is based on the old observation that every man is really two men - the men he is and the man he wants to be. - William feather
The poet should prefer probable impossibilities to improbable possibilities - Aristotle
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.  - George Bernard Shaw
The price of freedom of religion, or of speech, or of the press, is that we must put up with a good deal of rubbish. - Robert Jackson
The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers. - Richard Hamming
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim. - Edgar W. Dijkstra
The reasonable man adapts himself to the conditions that surround him. The unreasonable man adapts surrounding conditions to himself. All progress depends on the unreasonable man. - George Bernard Shaw
The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.  - Albert Einstein
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.   - Hubert H. Humphrey
The search for truth and the quest for the ideal are more prevalent than they might be somewhere else. However, I am not naive enough to claim the other side of human nature, the side devoted to materialism and vain symbolism, doesn't exist.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. - Albert Einstein
The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them. - Albert Einstein
The smaller the mind the greater the conceit.  - Aesop
The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. - Terry Pratchett
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.  - Samuel Johnson
The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.  - Flannery O'Connor
The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with human ambition. - Carl Sagan
The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are. - Samuel Johnson.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.   - Horace Walpole
The world is governed more by appearances than realities, so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it.   - Daniel Webster
Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work. Practice is when something works, but you don't know why. Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don't know why.
There are eight things of which a little is good and much is bad: travel, mating, wealth, work, wine, sleep, spice, and medicine
There are four things that will move man into an action: Wine, women, monarch, truth.
There are no difference but difference of degree between different degrees of difference and no difference. - William James (allegedly written when he was high)
There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing. - Oscar Wilde
There are only two things to remember to succeed in this world. 1) know who can give you what you want. 2) know what they want.
There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't. - Robert Benchley, Benchley's Law of Distinction
There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it. - Bertrand Russell
There are two things you can be selfish: employment, marriage.
There art two cardinal sins from which all others spring: Impatience and Laziness.  - Franz Kafka
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
There is no dirty money. When money is transfered, ethics is not transfered with the money.
There is no reason all the physical law should hold; we dont have a written agreement with the God, yet.
There is nothing in the world that I loathe more than group activity, that communal bath where the hairy and slippery mix in a multiplication of mediocrity. -Vladimir Nabokov
There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste.   - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
There is nothing more frightful than imagination without taste. - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
There is scarcely anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse, and sell a little more cheaply. The person who buys on price alone is this man's lawful prey.  - John Ruskin
They are the questions with no answers. A question with no answer is a barrier that cannot be breached. In other words, it is questions with no answers that set the limits of human possibilities, describe the boundaries of human existence.
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.  - Edgar Allan Poe
Those who seek wisdom come to understand that even though the world may reward us for wrong or superficial reasons, such as our physical appearance, the family we come from, and so on, what really matters is who we are inside and who we are becoming. - Epictetus
Those who speak most of progress measure it by quantity and not by quality.  - George Santayana
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.  - Hector Berlioz
To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake of all. - Peter McWilliams
To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization, and at present very few people have reached this level.  - Bertrand Russell
To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight of the blood.  - George Santayana
Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right.  - Kurt Herbert Alder
Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.  - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Try not to be owned by what you own.
Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. - Thomas Huxley
Turn the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.  - Frank Lloyd Wright
Unix Is A User Friendly Operating System... It's Just Picky About Whose Its Friends Are.
War does not determine who is right; only who is left. - Bertrand Russell
We are generally the better persuaded by the reasons we discover ourselves than by those given to us by others. - Blaise Pascal
We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us.  - Samuel Johnson
We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.  - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to. - W. Somerset Maugham
We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.   - Anais Nin
We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people.  - Arthur Schopenhauer
We lacked confidence in our ability to do a mysterious, undifferentiated thing we called "business." In fact there is no such thing as "business." There's selling, promotion, figuring out what people want, deciding how much to charge, customer support, paying your bills, getting customers to pay you, getting incorporated, raising money, and so on.  - Paul Graham
We live in an age where pizza would get to our door before the police would.
We live in a capitalisic world, where everything is just business, and everyone is just customers.
We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities. - Oscar Wilde
We may regard the present state of the universe as the effect of its past and the cause of its future. An intellect that at any given moment knew all the forces that animate nature and the mutual positions of the beings that compose it, if this intellect were vast enough to submit its data to analysis, could condense into a single formula the movement of the greatest bodies of the universe and that of the lightest atoms; for such an intellect nothing could be uncertain; and the future, just like the past, would be present before its eyes. - Pierre Simon Laplace - On determinism
We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us.  - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time. - T. S. Eliot
We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.  - Frank Tibolt
Whatever nature has in store for mankind, unpleasant as it may be, men must accept, for ignorance is never better than knowledge. - Enrico Fermi
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.  - P. J. O'Rourke
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
When personal survival is concerned, art has no value. As far as art is concerned, personal survival has no value.
When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. - Marquis de la Grange
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.  - Mark Twain
When you fall, pick up something while you are down there. - Sherry Conway Appel
when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.  - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to. - George Carlin
Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.   - Harry S Truman
Whether it's a bad novel being translated to the screen or a good novel being butchered or how to keep the restroom clean in a filling station, it's all the same thing: You gotta entertain people.
Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?  - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Word-smithing is a much greater percentage of what I am supposed to be doing in life than I would ever have thought - Knuth
You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions. -Naguib Mahfouz
You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.  - Henry Ford
You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.   - Ray Bradbury
You have to pretend you're 100 percent sure. You have to take action; you can't hesitate or hedge your bets. Anything less will condemn your efforts to failure.
You know it's funny when it rains it pours, they got money for wars, but can't feed the poor" Tupac
You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers. - John J. Plomp
You know you've achieved perfection in design, not when you have nothing more to add, but when you have nothing more to take away. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Wind, Sand and Stars
You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave.   - Sydney Smith
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.  - Charles Austin Beard
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
You're dead, that's the end of you. There's no tomorrow.
Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good. - Samuel Johnson
Your true traveler finds boredom rather agreeable than painful. It is the symbol of his liberty-his excessive freedom. He accepts his boredom, when it comes, not merely philosophically, but almost with pleasure. - Aldous Huxley
We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people.   - Arthur Schopenhauer
There is nothing more demoralizing than a small but adequate income.  - Edmund Wilson
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.  - Friedrich Nietzsche
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.  - Plato
When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of putting it into practice.  - Otto von Bismarck
The world is governed more by appearances than realities, so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it.  - Daniel Webster
The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.  - Dante Gabriel Rossetti
It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.  - Neil Gaiman
If you dont much care where you want to get to, then it doesn't much matter which way you go. - in alice in wonderland.
Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value - Albert Einstein
The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a god or not.
Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them.  - Robertson Davies
There must be more to life than having everything.  - Maurice Sendak
Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.  - Frank Lloyd Wright
It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.   - Havelock Ellis
Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one.   - Charles Mackay
The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened.   - Saki
One should absorb the colour of life, but one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar.  - Oscar Wilde
People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.  - Dan Quayle
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease.  - George Dennison Prentice
Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.  - George Jean Nathan
education is system of imposed ignorance - noam chomsky
I hate it when people call themselves "entrepreneurs" when what they're really trying to do is launch a startup, so they can cash in and move on. They're unwilling to do the work it takes to build a real company, which is the hardest work in business. - Steve Jobs
Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.   - Henry David Thoreau
Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.   - Quentin Crisp
The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best - and therefore never scrutinize or question.  - Stephen Jay Gould
We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.  - Tom Stoppard
There are wavelengths that people cannot see, there are sounds that people cannot hear, and maybe computers have thoughts that people cannot think. - Richard Hamming
The world is not a traffic light. you can't change it by staring at it.
You can't be better than others without being different.
It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.  - Alec Bourne




Houseism
A thing about telling someone that they are dying is that it tends to focus their priorities. finds out what matters to them. what they are willing to die for, what they are willing to lie for.
And dogs should stop licking themselves, but it isn't gonna happen.
Any medical justification. Doesn't need to be a good one.
Are you always such an asshole?/House: No, sometimes I'm asleep.
as long as you believe you are going to a better place, dying aint so bad.
because if the universe operates by abstract rules, you can learn them and protect yourself. if supreme being exists, he can squash you anytime he wants.
Billionaires buy movie studios to get laid. They buy hospitals to get respect. / House: And the reason you want respect? / Wilson: To... get laid.
But only flaw in that argument is that when millions of people are dying, the correct prespecive should be yelling on top of your lungs.
Choose your specialist, Choose your disease.
crazy is spending half a day talking to pigeons in a park.
denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance
Do you find it comforting to believe this is it? (meaning the death is the end) / I find it comforting to believe this isn't a test.
do you know what worship means? it means to love someone unquestioningly, uncritically.
Do you know why there is no ribbon for lung cancer? People blame lung cancer patients. They screwed up, and they deserve to die.
Do you think he is better than I am? / Foreman: This is about your ego. / House: Answer the question. It's not going to change how I think about myself. It might affect my opinion about you. But, that should not affect your opinion about yourself.
Doctors love anomaly. It doesn't fit. I am interested in things that don't fit.
does it matter what I think? the only thing matter is what you think.
doing things changes things. Not doing things leaves things exactly as they were.
Dying people lie too. Wish they'd worked less, been nicer, opened orphanages for kittens. If you really want to do something, you do it. You don't save it for a sound bite.
Everything sucks. Might as well find something to smile about.
faith isn't based on logic and experience.
faith. that's another word for ignorance, isn't it? i never understood how people can be so proud to believe in something with no proof at all. like that is an achievement.
figure you come up with solution where no one gets hurt. the problem is that the world does not work that way just because you want it to. the problem is that the world does not go away just because you want it to.
Gift express guilt. The more expensive the expression, the deeper the guilt.
Go ahead. Die happy. I got no problem with people killing themselve. But, Don't think that makes a hero.
good boys are afraid of devine retribution. that's what make them listen to their parents.
he cheated and won a game. life is more complicated than who gets to the finish line first.
He likes to talk to crazy people since they are not boring. / Foreman: I thought he like rationality. / Wilson: He likes puzzles.
He thinks you do your job, and what will be what will be. I think what I do and What you do matters. He sleeps better at night. He shouldn't.
hell, you can spend a couple of years in jail if it saves MY life!
house doesn't break the rules. he ignores rules. all he stands for is the right for everyone to grab whatever they want, whenever they want
House doesnt believe in pretense. life is too short and too painful. so, he said what he thinks.
How'd you get here? / House: By osmosis.
humanity is overrated
humility is an important quality, specially if you are wrong a lot.
I am both amused and annoyed that you think I should be less stubborn than you are.
i am not sad. i am complicated. chicks dig that.
I am running. but, dont get excited. I won't win. / Then, why run? / Oh, I see. Your point being the only way to make a difference is to win every fight.
I asked you what two plus two equals and a day later you tell me, 'Not twenty-five.'
I can understand how this question would surprise you. But, I don't understand how this question would confuse you.
i choose to do it. / oh yeah, like diabetics choosing not to produce insulins.
i don't care what anybody says. i care about what they do.
I forgot I needed a reason to give a crap. / House: You're actually giving two craps. / Wilson: The metric system always confused me.
I guess you never really know a person...
I had to do what I thought was right. / That's the only reason that anybody does anything
I haven't had sex since I split up with my husband. That was almost a year ago. / House: Fine, have it your way. Immaculate conception. / Sarah: Um, what do I do? / House: Well, it's obvious. Start a religion.
I said I was selling it (soul), I didn't say I was giving it away.
I take risks. Sometimes, patients die. If I don't take risks, more patients die. I guess I am cursed with the ability to do math.
I taught you to cheat and lie and steal but when i turn my back, you wait in line.
I thought we are playing the game called "state the obvious"
I thought you do what you do to help people. I was wrong. You do what you do because it is right.
I'm sure this goes against everything you've been taught, but right and wrong do exist. Just because you don't know what the right answer is, maybe there's even no way you could know what the right answer is, doesn't make your answer right or even okay. It's much simpler than that. It's just plain wrong.
Ideas are not soda cans. Recycling sucks.
if he is healthy, then everything is forgiven?
If she agrees with me, I don't need her. If she disagrees with me, I dont want her.
if the love is based on lies, does it mean it's not based on real feeling? doesn't it bring the same pleasure?
if their son dies tomorrow, do you think they will give any damn about what I say today? It's not gonna matter. They are not gonna care. Nothing is going to be the same ever again. Just give those poor women a few hours of hope.
If you are not ready to be stupid, nothing great will happen to you.
If you believe in eternity, life is irrelavant.
If you have something better to do, do that. If not, do this.
If you repeat what I say, this conversation will take twice as long.
it is not easy. but it is simple. (meaning there are only 2 choices. but it is a touch choice)
It is the nature of the medicine that you are going to screw up. you are going to kill someone. if you cant handle that reality, pick another occupation.
It turns out that your best judgement is not good enough. Here is an idea. Next time, use mine.
It's like my heart is on fire. Like it's, oh I don't know, like.../House: "Burning?"/Lucille: "Exactly!"/House: "Hmm. Sounds almost like... heartburn."/Lucille: "So can you give me something?"/House: "Like a thesaurus?"
It's the basic truth to the human condition, that everybody lies. the only variable is what.
Like I always say, there's no 'I' in 'team'. There's a 'me', though, if you jumble it up.
Loss of free will. I like it. Maybe we can get Thomas Aquinas in for a consult.
Lupus is a bad diagonose /  Chase: It's the best diagonse we got. / House: It doesn't make it good.
Marriage don't fail because couples get bored. it fails because when they are dating, people pretend to be the person who the partner wants. Then, well, there is so long they can keep up.
mistakes are as serious as the result they cause.
My giving a damn or not is not going to change what happened.
obesession, the thing you think about all the time. the thing keeps you awake at night. that thing make you great at what you do. one thing
Oh, they are the arrogant jerks who saved your life.
Okay, I will never do it again / Foreman: Yes, you will. / House: One more reason that this debate is pointless.
people choose the path that gains them the greatest reward with the least amount of effort. that's the law of nature. that's why I hired you.
People don't change. at least not in the any way it matters.
People like talking about people. makes us feel superior. make us feel in control.
people pray so that the god won't crush them like bugs.
Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next time you want to get my attention, wear something fun. Low-rising jeans are hot.
playing by the rules make everybody else happy.
religious people tends to interpret everything as divine intervension. it all happens for a reason...
Remember DHA: Dream, Hopes, Aspirations.
She (cancer terminal kid) enjoys the life more than you do.
Sister Augastine believes in things that aren't real. / House: I thought that was a job requirement for you people.
So, you are condemning one of the kids to die based on a random chance? / House: I guess I am.
Sorry, up late. Internet porn./Chase: How come you aren't in your office?/House: Because there's a computer in my office, and if I log on, romance will ensue - my wrist might fall off.
Stand up for what you believe
stop being nice. it's useless, .. and it's boring. get angry.
Tattoo. / Wow, I thought you would be the last person to have any problem with nonconfirmity. / You wanna be a rebel? Stop being cool. Wear pocket protectors. Like the Asian kids who don't leave the library for 20 hours stretch. They are the ones who don't care what you think.
the great parts of being grown up is that you never have to do anything.
The great thing about telling somebody they're dying is it tends to focus their priorities. You find out what matters to them. What they're willing to die for. What they're willing to lie for.  - Three Stories
The most succesful marriages are based on lies.
the only problem with that theory is that it is based on that the universe is a just(as in justice) place.
The technical term is narcassism. You can't believe everything is your fault, unless you also believe you are all powerful.
The world is such a complicated place if you have higher reasoning skills. I am awfully jealous of small animals and retarded children.
There are 2 things that men get stupid. money and sex.
There is evolutionary imperative that what we give a crap about our friends and families. And, there is evolutionary imperative that we don't give a crap about anybody else. if you love all people indiscriminatively, then you couldn't function.
there is no dignity in dying.
there is no wrong answer. because there is no right answer./ wrong! we just don't know the right answer.
There is not a thin line between love and hate! There is in fact a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every twenty feet between love and hate.
they are not abusive. They are idiots.
They lied to you because they love you?
They were stylish, and very painful to wear. The only incredible shallow, insecure women rather be in pain all day long, than be in decent looking, comfortable shoes. That's the exactly the type I don't need around here.
this is not a negoition, and never was. I needed to know, whatever i ask you to do, however distastful you find it, you will do it.
This is who I am. I believe in people. I am not hipply cynical, or I don't make easy snide remarks. I would rather think that people are good, and be disappointed, once and again.
To save lives. Specifically doctors' lives. And, not just lives, but their lifestyle. Wouldn't want to operate anyone who are really sick, or they might die, and spoil our stats.
Treating illness is why we became doctors. Treating patients is actually what makes most doctors miserable.
Wanting to believe the best about people doesn't make it true.
We all make a mistake, and we all pay a price.
We are doctors. They believe whatever we say.
We are who people think we are.
We should hope for the best. / That does not mean that you can do whatever you want to do.
Welcome to the end of the thought process.
What are you looking for? / Same as you. Love, acceptance, a solid return on investment.
what i am saying is i dont care what they do as long as my life isn't interrupted by a pointless conversation like this one.
When I hired you, I knew you were insane. I will continue trying to stop you from doing insane things. But, once they are done, trying to convince an insane person not to do insane things is, in itself, insane.
Why didn't you tell us that your birthday was coming up? / Well, I wasn't sure the Earth would actually make it all the way around the Sun again, but gosh darnit if it wasn't just the little planet that could.
why do you always do things that you don't want to do? ..... it's okay. i don't expect the real answer.
Wilson thinks it would be nice to give the girl a year to say goodbye to her mommy, in case she stutters or something.
With enough organization and the lists, he thinks he can control the uncontrollable.
work smart, not hard. that is my work philosophy.
you agree with me, not because you think i am right. you are taking the safe route.
You are asking me if I want to die? / Nobody wants to die. But, you are going to. The question is how.
you are lucky. you go through life with a certainty that what you do is right. I know how comforting that is.
You are not worried about... / Thing I can't do anything about, I try not to.
You can think I'm wrong, but that's no reason to quit thinking.
you can trust me. / the problem is, if I can't trust you, I can't trust your statment that I can trust you.
You can't always get what you want. if you try, sometimes you get what you want
you can't control your emotions. / no, but you can control your actions.
you can't love somebody, and not trust them.
you don't like yourself. but you do admire yourself. you are afraid if you change, you will lose everything that makes you special.
you had to do what you thought was right.
You have been hiding things and lying to me all day. / House: I didn't lie to you about anything, except the things I admitted to you I was lying about.
you just want all crap you went through to mean something. well, it never mean anything. it never did.
you know what is worse than watching your son become crippled? watching him be miserable.
you know why people are nice to other people? / House: i know, because people are good, decent, and caring. or, people are cowards. If I be mean to you, you will be mean to me.  mutually assured from destruction.
You know why people sit in the waiting rooms. People think the closer they are sitting to the operating room, the more they care.
You live under delusion that you can fix anything that is not perfect.
You mean genuine humility. You know all those self-doubt and self-questioning. Or Hamilton's polite patronizing oh-shucks humility.
you need to people to like you. / House: I don't care if people like me.  / Wilson: you need people to like you, because you need people. if stacy doesn't trust you, you can't use her.
You okay?/House:"Hurt my shoulder playing fantasy football."
You see the world as it is, and you see the world as it could be. What you don't see is what everybody else sees. The giant big chasm in between. You are not happy unless things are just right, which means 2 things. You are a good boss, and you will never be happy.
You talk to god, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
you think it is wrong because you got hired because some genetic gift of beauty instead of some genetic gift of intelligence?
You wanna make thing right? too bad. nothing is ever right.
you want the truth, or do you want me to make up the truth to protect you?
You want to bet on the patient's health? / You think that is a bad luck? You think the God will smite him because of our insensitiviety?
you were trying to objectively measure how much I value our friendship?
You were wrong!  But, You did something great!  You should feel great that you were great!  You should feel like crap that you were wrong!
you will be surprised what you can live with.
You're lucky he didn't die./House: "I'm lucky? He's the one who didn't die."